change

got to get used to it.
embrace it? dunno how, too sensitive, too incorrigibly wedded to impossible ideals, amazing how I never change when everything else does, you'd think the kid would have learned by now.
it's coming, and it's constant. it will either take me down or it won't. the best decisions are swept out of its path like they were never there unless they were already made by Someone else.
get used to it. or die. really don't care, either will get you out of the way, it said to itself. it knew it was bad, and was terribly afraid God didn't know, or worse, didn't care enough to destroy it.
hate is an amazing drug.

I am very quiet. Let the months and years come, they can take nothing from me, they can take nothing more. I am so alone, and so without hope that I can confront them without fear. The life that has borne me through these years is still in my hands and my eyes. Whether I have subdued it, I know not. But so long as it is there it will seek its own way out, heedless of the will that is within me. - Erich Maria Remarque