it's about...

...time to come back.
Christmas was awesome, but I let too many other things crowd out too much of it.
just another day, but it ain't. it's supposed to change things. it's supposed to change me.
it always does. I want it to, more than ever.
I glimpse a self I don't hate, ever so briefly.
I see things in others that I let slip away all too easily. good things that will overpower the rest if I let them.
I need to be changed, a lot.
God, thank You. I love You, and I love them. wife, family, friends, this life is less than nothing without them. You are enough, but I'm glad you choose to reach me through them.
I reeeeeally wish I'd milked this year for more of You, wish I knew more of my life made You happy.
sorry.
like to try again, 'kay?

peel

this is a big f*ckin' onion.
too many layers.
know just enough to know I have no idea.
this layer looks a lot like the last few thousand.
I am grateful that some appear to really like onions, or can find the hope of good in them somewhere.
damn if I know how they do it, though.
this hurts.