free to leave, but go where? they claim to accept, but it's mostly tolerance. patiently waiting for the kid to get a clue he will never grasp. what really stokes and fumes deep within me is lost on them, and maybe on me too because I can't remember it anymore, and I can't grasp their world any more than I can make them understand mine. they respect my freedom to be myself which means I will always be a million miles away.
even so they are changing me irrevocably. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore. I watch and embrace and tolerate things that something inside me is screaming at, and I no longer recognise the things I thought I was made of.
I love them too much to walk away but am too weak and deformed to keep up with them, and who the hell am I to think any changes they needed would come through me, even if I wanted to make them or even knew what they were?
I have no idea what I am turning into, only that I like it even less than what was before, if that's even possible.
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