Donasgillin gu Brath is Scots Gaelic for "Bad Penny Forever." A good friend told me some years ago, when I was convinced that I was at damned near my worst, that she and my other friends were like a bad penny - they would keep turning up. They have. God has. My wife has. I want to. I intend to. I will. That's what I was made for.
I want to keep turning up on the side of truth and love, even if it hurts, even if it costs. I want to resist the impulse to save what can't be saved, so that I can gain what can't be lost or stolen. Not just to be secure for myself, but because I'm no damn good for anyone else without it. None of us are, and if you doubt me, I fear for you.
I'm not a Christian because I got dunked or checked off a box on a card or repeated a prayer after someone or faceplanted on the floor of a church, though I've done all of those. I'm not a Christian because someone argued, bullied, brainwashed, manipulated, coerced, or scared me into it. That's all been tried, and all of it fell off and rotted when God stepped in. I'm sure as hell not here because I'm perfect in holiness and virtue, nor because I'm so stupid and bereft of value that there's nothing else left for me. I love Christ because He first loved me. That's all. That's why I want to keep turning up. That's my only hope of being able to.
As a movie portrayal of Doc Holliday said, "I'm not an easy man to be friends with, but I'll be there when you need me." Apart from Christ I can do nothing, but I'm not apart from Him any more. He's always proven Himself to me, and He'll do the same for anyone willing to risk believing in Him. And it is a risk, because if you don't believe in Him as the God He claimed outright to be, you don't believe in Him, but a caricature of Him. It's scary to trade autonomy for dependence on a Being you can't even see. It takes every cell of brains you have, and the rest of you as well. You first believe, then you get to see.
Sounds narrow-minded, and it is. Truth is like that. It smarts and chafes, perhaps, but don't judge it from the outside. Try it on.
About Me
- Bootsaint
- New London, Connecticut, United States
- ugly and loved, armed and polite, spiritual and realistic, angry and hopeful, a soft heart and a hard target, here before you, will be here when you're gone, always turning up for my true friends (there are better friends than me, but I've got most of them), under orders to love my enemies, but that doesn't make me their doormat. Still here? Thanks. Read on.
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